yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
