If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
