I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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