Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize