I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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