Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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