I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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