So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
