why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
