i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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