I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You've changed since you got that strap on
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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