he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
