I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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