I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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