At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's shark week go big or go home
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
