Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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