I'm going to jail i love you
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
