Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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