SEEEEXXX PLEASE
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize