bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
