I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
