I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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