At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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