I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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