If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
