piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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