So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
