I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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