ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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