dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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