her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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