I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
