i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
