why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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