i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize