Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
