she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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