I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
