I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You can't special order awesome
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
