No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She needs sedatives and a leash
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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