You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
