Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Randomize
