Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
