Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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