the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
