We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
