i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
