He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize