I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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