Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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