Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
