well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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