I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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