I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
