question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
