I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
