im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize