Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
