He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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